Ninjato

When my mom dropped $200 cash on me for my birthday (a big surprise BTW) I had all kinds of things I could spend it on. But I tend to look at cash and gift certificates like this: spend it on something you normally wouldn't buy. Because that's usually what gifts are. You don't buy someone a gift certificate for an oil change for a reason. Gifts are superfluous, fun things. So I bought a ninja sword.

Like I said before: I'm a geek, through and through.

I've been thinking a lot lately of another visit to Japan: our 5th anniversary is coming up next year, I'm enrolled in Japanese language class at the local community college, and I just had a blast playing Tenchu Z. I love my katana that I bought in Kyoto four years ago, and I plan on getting another one next time I visit. I certainly do not plan on getting a ninja sword in Japan, not to mention it would be hard to find. The Ninjato as we know it never existed. It is a construct of Japanese film, Hollywood, and anime. The exact origin of the straight sword and square tsuba design seems to be unknown. But it is known to be not historically accurate by any means. So this sword is purely a celebration of the pop culture ninja. So that's why I would feel silly buying a ninja sword in Japan. Instead, I bought a Hanwei Ninjato.

Hanwei is a Chinese company that manufactures many functional historical swords of all types. Martial artists actually use Hanwei swords because they are functional, rugged, and much cheaper then true Japanese swords, or nihonto. So practice and destroy the cheap ones while the authentic ones sit safely on your wall. This sword is made for business. While not folded, it is differentially hardened, and it has a real hamon to prove it. The guys at Sword-Buyers-Guide.com did a review, and they have plenty of video to show how sharp this thing is. I've read that folding is only a matter of tradition today anyways. They used to do it to improve the carbon content of the steel, but that is unnecessary today - though it also makes for a beautiful effect on the blade. Point is, a lot of swords made today are as good as the classics.

So this sword is kick ass. It has all the details that make it feel like a "real" ninja sword: black colors, hamon, flat black saya, square tsuba, and it even has a kamasu-kissaki (the striaght line tip, where others are traditionally curved). More pictures here.

Oh and BTW, I'm adding Edo Wonderland to my todo list for Japan. The ninjas sold me, lol.

And I never posted a pic of it, so here is my Kyoto sword:

Fatal Frame 3

I like me a good scare. Unfortunately, there are few ways to get one. Horror movies are 99% garbage. I hear there's a good author by the name of Stephen King who wrote a few good books. But I tried to read one ("The Shining") and he put me to sleep for five chapters before I gave up. A lot of "horror" video games are terrible in the horror department. Resident Evil hasn't been scary since the first game. Silent Hill, same. Most others are scary in the "monster jumps out of the closet" type scare. You might as well buy a jack-in-the-box for less money. But Fatal Frame... is different.

This is the third Fatal Frame game. I got it off eBay for a whopping $50 new, for a PS2 game! I guess it was a limited run. I've played most of the first game and recently completed the second game. So it was only natural that I now play the third one. And man was it well worth the money.

The gameplay hasn't changed at all. You are still a diminutive Japanese female stuck in a creepy old Japanese mansion full of vengeful ghosts. You are defenseless for a short period of time before you find a Camera Obscura, an antique camera that can damage ghosts when you take their picture. Of course, you do more damage to them the closer they are, and you get a special "shutter chance" when they are actually attacking you. So you are encouraged, if not required, to allow the ghosts to stalk you while you charge the camera and grab a snapshot at the last possible moment before their icy hands grab your throat. And believe it or not, that is not what makes the game scary.


What makes the game scary is the atmosphere. This mansion is creepy. It creeks. It has unseen children singing lullabies. It has ghostly women hiding in corners crying to themselves. It has ghosts who talk as if still alive, replaying the horror of their last moments. It has hooded priests who walk with their Buddhist staffs, which rattle like a chain as they strike the ground. There are little girls, shrine maidens, who are trying to stake you to the ground with a mallet. You know when those are near because you hear this wood-on-stone tapping sound of their mallet as they approach. Run bitch. Run.

The ghost list goes on. But you get the point. They are surprisingly varied in style and execution. And every single one of them is a character in an unfolding past drama. A drama which has spilled over into your own life. This game also links the first two games to this story, including characters from those games. Let me tell you: when you walk through a door and things start to look familiar, until finally you realize you just entered the "rope hallway" from the first game, that is fucking creepy. That is not someplace you want to be. In fact, that is one characteristic of this game that I haven't felt since the original Alone in the Dark. In both Alone in the Dark and this game, there were places that I did not want to be in. When I had to pass through those areas, I ran like hell until I came out the other side.

So in conclusion, I give Fatal Frame 3 a 5 out of 5. I also think it is the best of the series. Most reviews seem to think that 2 was the scariest, and thus the best, but I think 3 actually has it beat. There were some unforgettable moments in FF2; like dropping your camera in the caves and having to run from a pursuing ghost because you are defenseless; or when the little girl turns out the lights on you in the middle of a hallway battle. But FF3 just had more atmosphere, beginning to end. I wouldn't play the game after dark, alone in the living room. When the wife went to bed, I turn it off and play something else. That's how good the game was.

Tenchu Z

I am a geek, through and through. I like zombies, wizards, vampires, Star Trek, and ninjas. You put any one of those things in a game or movie, and you have my attention. So it should come as no surprise that Tenchu was one of my favorite Playstation games. I also liked many, though not all, of the sequels. Tenchu Z is a two year old Xbox 360 game. I played the demo when it came out, and was not impressed, so I took a pass. But I have since heard that some people absolutely loved the game. So I just picked up a copy on eBay for $14 shipped. For $14, you don't have much as far as expectations go. If the game sucks, then so be it, I'll eBay it back for $12. Well, I didn't put it up on eBay, I played it beginning to end, and then some.


Tenchu Z takes a different character approach than previous games. All other games you play Rikimaru, Ayame, or a couple other minor ninjas. In Z, you create your own ninja and take orders from Rikimaru. As you play, you unlock new clothing, accessories, saya, items, skills, and abilities. It was quite rewarding to be honest. I had a lot of fun picking out badass outfits for my ninja everytime I got a new batch of clothing. Little things make me happy.

Gameplay hasn't come very far since Wrath of Heaven. Stealth Kills are still the focus, combat is still weak, items are still completely unneccessary (though fun to use), and the AI is still completely dumb. After the first few levels, I played the entire game on "hard", and the only difference was the guys gained a little bit of vertical field of view, meaning they could actually see you if you were on the roof in the moonlight directly in front of them. The AI is so terrible, they give up chasing you after 5 seconds, usually kicking the dirt in frustration before running back to their predetermined walking route. Some new elements were introduced, like the ability to cling to ceilings, run along walls, stealth kill through shoji, etc. The difficulty didn't really require you to make use of any of these new abilities, but they were fun to play around with anyhow.

The level designs left much to be desired. The maps are reused several times each, with minor differences such as a few daylight missions, different start/end points, and different enemy load out. This isn't so bad since the levels are large enough that changing goals and enemy locations actually is enough to make the stage feel almost new. You can tell they wanted to show off the beauty of feudal Japan with their level design, but just didn't have the resources to do it. Either lack of ability or lack of funds means the levels are all a bit lackluster. I think a little bit more time and artistic talent could have really made the levels pop, and let feudal Japan shine. I also think more environmental changes could really put some variety into the game. Snow could cause crunching footfalls and leave footprints to be found. Rain could make dark nights darker but leave loud puddles to splash through, and muddy footprints at building entries. Stylish, fast moving storm clouds could cause dynamic shadows, blocking moon or sun, so that one second you are hidden in shadow but the next you are exposed as the clouds reveal the moon. The possibilites are endless! It would be a lot of fun to design a ninja game...

Finally, the actual missions themselves could use some variance. You get points for every kill, regardless of where you are (unless they are non-combatants; but if they have a sword they are fair game). Missions that take place in your own backyard still reward you for killing random guards, despite the fact that they are your own countrymen. I think changing mission parameters would make sense but also create interest. Imagine if you were given a mission to assassinate a spy, but since he is in your own territory you are forbidden from killing anyone else. Or even in foreign territory "retrieve the secret documents" type missions, you might want to require total secrecy, so again, no kills. Mix it up!

So you might be thinking that this game really sucks. Well, it's no AAA title, and it certainly has it's flaws. But in the end, the game is a lot of fun. If you like the idea of sneaking around and cutting people down with sprays of blood, then you won't go wrong here. I had a blast and played the game for hours on end. I'll probably go back and grab a few more achievements and play with some more items that I never got to use. If you liked any of the previous Tenchu games, then this one is certainly worth the $14 you will pay for it.

The Dresden Files

I'm almost done with Turn Coat, book 11 of The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. I'm having trouble deciding where to begin, because it's easy to describe the series in such a way as to make it sound ridiculous. And I guess that's probably because it is ridiculous.

Harry Dresden is a wizard for hire in modern day Chicago. He's actually listed in the yellow pages. Most of his work comes from the Chicago P.D., whom turn to him when they can't come up with an explanation. That's how things start. We quickly learn of an international council of wizards, multiple breeds of vampire, werewolves, ghosts, zombies, holy knights, demons, fallen angels, a world of Faerie... Yeah it gets crazy real fast. But the series is really good. Jim Butcher spins complex yet comical tales of modern fantasy noir with a sarcastic and wise cracking main character who is so real that you can't help but think you've met the guy before. It's worth a read if you are a fantasy fan.

Oh, and I almost forgot about Bob, Harry's porn-obsessed spirit servant who lives in a skull in his lab. Instant classic.

Full listing of his books. He also has a traditional high-fantasy novel series going titled "Codex Alera". I haven't gotten around to reading them yet, but I'm sure they are just as good.

Best license plate ever

A friend from NC sent me this pic he took of a real license plate. Fucking awesome.

Stand Alone Complex

So I have watched all that Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex has to offer: two seasons and a made-for-TV movie. The reviews are in, and they are mixed.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (season 1):
The first season of the show was good. Not as good as the movie, but good. There was a lot of what I would call philosophical-babble about entities on the net, AI, and "stand alone complexes". I call it babble because it doesn't mean anything, causing you to lose interest and/or your eyes glaze over. And despite several whole-episode conversations about "stand alone complex", I still can't tell you what the fuck that means and it's the title of the goddamn show. Also, Motoko's outfit was ridiculous. It was not sexy, classy, fashionable, or practical. The guy who approved it should be fired, and he quite possibly was since she had a new outfit for season two. Also, the CG intro was crappy and out of place. But despite these flaws, the show was interesting, entertaining, and fun. The underlying story about the Laughing Man was complex yet followable, and the occasional action sequences stylish and understated, much like the 1995 movie.

Ghost in the Shell: S.A.C. 2nd GIG (season 2):
The second season, titled S.A.C 2nd Gig, was a big improvement, and not just because Motoko has a new outfit that is both sexy and practical. The intro is cool and hip, with a much better song. In fact, the music all around was better. The philosophical-babble was drastically cut down, though not completely removed. The story itself was interesting and much easier to follow. But best of all, this season saw more introspective on our Section 9 crew, including Motoko, Saito, and Pazu. Overall, this season was leaps and bounds better than the last one, and I really think it is an example of the best of Japanese serial animation.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex - Solid State Society (TV-movie):
Finally, we have the made-for-TV movie. I really had high hopes for this movie, coming off a superb 2nd season of the series. But to be honest, the movie stunk. I thought the base story was actually strong, but the presentation and some plot choices were really poor. Motoko retired from Section 9? When last we saw them, they were in new Tachikoma ready to kick ass in a scene reminiscent of the first issue of the manga, which has all kinds of implications itself (the beginning of the end?). But now Motoko is out of the force, working on her own because she was "too restricted"? Fuck that. In addition, Batou is acting like an asshole for most of the film. And just to top it all off, the action sequences were boring and uninspired. In the end, it was just a really poorly done film. Any one of the episodes from Season 2 were better than this.

So here's my ratings:

1. Stand Along Complex (season 1): •••
2. Stand Along Complex: 2nd Gig (season 2): •••••
3. Stand Along Complex: Solid State Society (TV-movie): ••

So watch season 1, love season 2, and skip the movie. Well, maybe watch the movie if you are a big fan as I am, but be prepared to be disappointed.

I'm holding out for another season in hopes that they explore some of the other characters as well. I particularly like Ishikawa and Togusa, and we know next to nothing about Borma. So here's hoping for season 3.

Star Trek XI

So after seeing the movie a second time, I have to say I enjoyed it more. The first time, I was too distracted by the new actors and all the changes. I was watching too closely to see how they all did. So when I saw it a second time, I was able to simply enjoy the movie. And while it isn't an instant classic or anything, I enjoyed it. I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.

But I think my original list of pros and cons still stands.

Pros:

• Bones - Karl Urban nailed it and he was my favorite part of the movie. Bones is easily my favorite character from TOS, maybe ever.
• Alternate Reality - I thought that was an awesome way to free themselves from any restrictions of the shows and movies that came before them. And it's hardly a new concept in Star Trek, so it fits with the canon.
• Kirk - He played it well without mimicking Shatner, which would have just turned into a parody.
• CG - The CG of the ships and worlds were awesome. The Enterprise coming out of the dust cloud around Saturn was sweet. All the little touches on the ship made it feel more real.
• Overall the story was good and to the point. It introduced characters but didn't dwell on origin stories, which could have really dragged.

Cons:

• They did a little of the shaky-camera action bullshit that Hollywood is addicted to. Shaking the camera does not make anything more exciting, it just annoys your audience who is trying to follow the action. Fortunately, this was limited to only a couple scenes.
  
• If you had told me yesterday that there would ever be a Beastie Boys track in a Star Trek film, I would have called you a retard.
  
• Sulu with a katana? The whole point of Sulu's character was that he was one of the first Asian guys on TV that wasn't a martial artist. Sulu was Asian, but he was just a dude, no kung-fu or samurai swords. They kind of ruined that, and I feel like Hollywood has moved backwards. It's like making Chekov a communist, or giving Uhura ghetto slang lines; "I gots kids to feeed wit yo special!".
  
• Spock's Ship broke the Star Trek feel and moved into Star Wars territory. Star Trek doesn't do one man vehicles with pointless moving parts, that's Goerge Lucas crap. I always felt like part of what kept Star Trek grounded in plausible reality was the fact that an advanced ship that travels space needs a large crew to operate and maintain it.
• Spock and Uhura? Really? The guy who came up with that should be fired.
  
• This is really nit picky, but I wish they had stuck to more of the original technology. Such as the solid beam phasers, both with the Enterprise and the hand phasers. It really made Star Trek unique in sci-fi tech and again seemed to be more plausible than most. And power requirements, such as raising shields during warp, shouldn't be possible. Power management was a big deal in TOS. It took time to raise sheilds, and you had to sacrifice engine power to do so. Again, it adds to the plausibility, but also allows for some space battle intrigue, such as when Kirk would hesitate to raise shields in a gamble, but takes a photon for it.